I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
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