Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
Randomize
