I feel great
I just peed on a car
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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