that's an acceptable place to lick
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
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