Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
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