My underwear smells like fireworks.
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
Randomize
