the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize
