3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize
