Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
Never joke about your clitoris.
Randomize
