Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
Randomize
