you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
Is that strawberry winking at me??
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
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