I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Randomize
