If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
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