you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize