My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
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