There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
Randomize
