Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Randomize
