Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
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