whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
this will be a night to untag.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
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