The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Randomize
