oh god the rape fog is back!
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
i will never coherently bang her
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
Randomize
