This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize
