Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Randomize
