...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
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