Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
Randomize
