you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
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