Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
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