Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
We're too hungover to prance.
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize