no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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