ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
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