Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
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