Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
Randomize
