between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
