bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
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