oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
So I stole cocaine from one of my Tinder hookups
And that is the most millennial sentence I've ever said
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
