how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
