I can't disclose who, but one time I called someone, they didn't pick up, and immediately texted back 'will call later, masturbating'
I thought that was really considerate
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
Randomize
