I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
Randomize
