Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
Randomize
