He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
Randomize
