There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
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