You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
Randomize
