its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
Randomize
