everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
Randomize
