Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
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