Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Randomize
