: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
Randomize
