Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
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