Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Randomize
