can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
Randomize
