Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
Randomize
