no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
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