At least make sure they are 18
Why
you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
