Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
Randomize
