He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
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