Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Randomize
