UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
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