The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
Randomize